Sunday, 27 December 2009
Professor Plug is, as we have already noted a few lines above this line, the world’s leading authority so we bow to his spectacular knowledge in everything ever and then some (except for the mating rituals of Aardvarks of which he has often and repeatedly and consistently and insistently insisted that he has absolutely no interest in, in the slightest). Over to you Professor Plug.
A rare photograph of Professor Mucus Plug seen here working from home
While going about my daily business of monitoring everything important, and then some, I could not help but notice a small but big mistake in your recent posting posted upon this place that you post things. Specifically this mistake of which I speak of here in and forthwith is within your post titled Stick 32 in which you do opinion that the name of the young bespectacled wizard you have mistaken called Dennis Potter is named Dennis Potter but in fact and to my extensive knowledge which is extensive, the name of the young bespectacled wizard actually is instead Harold Potter, he being the central character in a series of children’s books by the author JFK Rowling. JFK Rowling is for reasons totally unconnected with the finding of sticks, a fascinating woman and after extensive research on my part, with plenty of referencing, cross referencing and really cross referencing, I can impart the following cold stone facts about the fascinating woman whose name is JFK Rowling and those stone cold facts are as follows:
JFK Rowling literally shot to fame starring as herself in the 1985 Kevin Costner film JFK about her early life working in a Dallas book depository warehouse near a grassy knoll directed by her then husband Oliver Rowling Stone. (Mr. Costner won the Best Use Of An Overhead Projector In A Film Oscar for his part in this motion picture before turning his back on acting to become a choreographer and opening a dance school for wild animals out west somewhere). Meanwhile JFK was so inspired by her own story as portrayed by herself in this film that she decided then and then to become a famous author of children’s books under the nom de plume Beatrix Potter. Her books Peter Rabbit And The Philosopher’s Carrot and Peter Rabbit And The Chamber Of Carrots became immediate moderate sellers. This period of her life was also portrayed in motion picture form but this time as three films starring Renée Zellweger and Keanu Reeves. The Beatrix Trilogy (The Beatrix, The Beatrix Reloaded and The Beatrix Revolutions) were box office smashes and yet JFK was so uninspired by her own story as portrayed in these three films (and also displeased with Zellweger's performance of herself) that she decided then and then to drop the Beatrix Potter name and start again this time writing children’s books under her real name of JFK Rowling. (Though she gives a sly nod to her former nom de plume by using the name Potter for her new central character.) Which brings us neatly back to the Harold Potter books which have become so successful that in one day alone they sold more copies in the Milton Keynes branch of Asda than there are giraffes on the planet (and there are a lot of giraffes on the planet). The books have also been made into films starring the Olympic marathon runner Paula Radcliffe as Harold Potter and jazz saxophonist Robbie Coltrane as Miss.Tiggy-Winkle. Having finished writing the Harold Potter books JFK is currently at a bit of a loose end but I am confident that this fascinating (for reasons totally unconnected with finding sticks) woman will soon enough involve herself in something that is not writing Harold Potter Books and so long as it is not something to do with the mating rituals of aardvarks (which I wish to go on record here and categorically state I personally have absolutely no interest in at all) I will turn a vaguely interested eye to I have no doubt.
All the best
P.S. I keep meaning to find a stick for you but have been horrendously busy of late working on my definitive history of usherettes, but I will get round to finding a stick for you soon I am sure. Keep up the good work.
Well thank you Professor for taking time out from your busy horrendousness to send in your world's leading authoritative account of the life of JFK Rowling in connection to our original mistake we mistaken mistook in our before now posting. She is indeed a fascinating woman even though this fascinating is totally unconnected with the stick finding purposes of this blog, it was an honour and joy for us to be enlightened by enlightenment by the world's leading authority.
Monday, 21 December 2009
I found this stick while shovelling my driveway in Winooski , Vermont . It was the first snowfall of the season and I was happy to be outside. I thought it was very usual to find a stick in my driveway because there are no trees near by.
Friday, 18 December 2009
Harry Gold of Hampstead Garden Suburbs England has found a robust yet playful stick to share with us here at Found A Stick. So tell us Harry where did you find this robust yet playful stick?
"Gmar chatimah tovah" to you all at Found A Stick. I was returning home recently on Zot Hanukkah, the last day of Hanukkah, from synagogue and looking forward to lighting all eight lights on the Menorah with the shamash before settling down to eat some fine sufganiyah while watching my children play with their dreidel, when I found this rather fine stick on the driveway to my neighbour Saul’s house. I have been keeping my eye out for a stick to share with you all at Found A Stick over this holiday period but so far much to my sorrow had come up empty handed. So it seemed especially fitting that I should finally find this fine stick on today of all days since Zot Hanukkah is particularly auspicious for the fulfillment of prayers.
Well Harry this robust yet playful stick you have found for us here at Found A Stick is your own little Hannukkah Miracle and we thank you for sharing it with us. Gmar chatimah tovah to you too.
We were thinking that some of the words you are using here are perhaps unknown to some of our readers, so because we always try to be thoughtful here at The Stick Foundry, home of Found A Stick we thought to thoughtfully put together a little glossary of these words for those readers to which these words are unknown.
Auspicious. Favoured by fortune; prosperous; fortunate.
Fulfilment: The act of consummating something (a desire or promise etc)
Particularly: In a particular manner; expressly; with a specific reference or interest; in particular; distinctly.
Especially: In an especial manner; chiefly; particularly; peculiarly; in an uncommon degree.
Thursday, 17 December 2009
So we waited ages, here at the Stick Foundry home of Found A Stick, for our first stick fashioned by the hand of man and then wouldn’t you know it a second stick fashioned by the hand of man comes along in quick succession. Sticks fashioned by the hand of man are like buses, it seems here at Found A Stick. But only in the sense that buses are a convenient and generally reliable form of public transport and if sticks fashioned by the hand of man were also buses, then they too would be a convenient and generally reliable form of public transport. Anyway we digress so let’s get back to the matter in hand.
Melissa Applewine of Northampton, England has found a most intriguing stick that has been the subject of much conjecture here at Found A Stick. So tell us Melissa where did you find a most intriguing stick that has been the subject of much conjecture here at Found A Stick?
I was in the local branch of H&M in the changing rooms upstairs trying on this beautiful red dress I had come across. I was shopping for an outfit to wear to my work’s upcoming Christmas party and was looking for something both stylish and suitably festive because I always like to wear something both stylish and suitably festive to the work’s Christmas party. But though the dress looked perfect on the hanger when I tried it on it did not hang well on the shoulders. A shame that because I really did like the dress. So I changed out of it and left the changing rooms and noticing that time was getting on I reluctantly gave up my search for something both stylish and festive to wear at my work’s upcoming Christmas party, for the day. (I’ll resume it on the weekend). So I then took the down escalator down to the ground floor and then departed the shop. Well not before being swept away by the greatest sparkly red and silver scarf in the accessory department. I mean surely it could go with whatever dress I do finally find for the upcoming work’s Christmas party, right? (And this triumphant find also means that I no longer had to go along with my self imposed limitation I had imposed on myself to find a red dress for my work’s upcoming Christmas party but could now broaden my search to other colours of dresses, confident that the sparkly red and silver scarf I had just purchased so fortuitously in the accessory department would bring the desired suitably festive touch I desired.) I then walked briskly down the high street until I reached my bus stop. After a ten minute wait my bus arrived so I boarded it and sat near the back, looking through my bags at some of my more successful purchases of the shopping trip to wile away the time on the twenty minute journey home, such as the really cool blue top with white embroidered patterns at the neck., the black jeans that fitted just right and the yellow skirt I was really pleased with at the time but looking at it again I was now not sure about, so I might take it back. Finally I arrived at my stop and I got off the bus that I had been travelling on and crossed the road at the lights. Then I walked down the street and turned left, walked down that road (picking up my pace a bit aware that it looked like it might start raining any minute which would ruin my blow-out) and at the end of that road I turned right into my street, walking down it towards my house. As I arrived at my front gate I happened to look down and immediately noticed with my eyes this rather intriguing stick.
Hmm...so you found the stick outside your front gate? So why did you bother…oh, never mind. Please continue Melissa.
I bent down and picked it up but did not look at the stick that I had found until I had put all my shopping away and made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down. When I did then look at the stick that I had found I have to admit I was quite mesmerised by it. It is, I estimate, nearly six inches in length and for most of that length of nearly six inches it possesses four flat sides of exquisite smoothness of such smooth exquisiteness that is so exquisitely smooth that the only thing I can think to compare it to would be to imagine, if you will, George Clooney as a babe in arms and how smooth his baby bottom would have been. Yes, that smooth. But then if this exquisite smoothness was not enough, though it is enough, towards one end the stick that I found tapers off and as it does this tapering I have just mentioned it becomes rounded like doweling is rounded before finishing at a flat smooth point. Meantime while all this tapering action is going on at that end at the other end it is strangely and unexpectedly ragged and splintery which is unexpected and strange because the rest of the stick is so precise. I find myself baffled and flummoxed as to what the original purpose of the stick I have found could possibly be but as I look at it again I do have the feeling that it is special and that it is anything but mundane. And though sharing the stick I have found with you at Found A Stick is an end in itself I cannot but secretly hope that you might enlighten me with enlightenment as to you opinions on what this stick that I have found could possibly be.
Maybe this most intriguing stick, that has been the subject of much conjecture here at Found A Stick was in fact the business end of a conductor’s baton vigorously snapped in half by a disgruntled maestro when the evening’s orchestral practice in a nearby concert hall (or some similar venue suitable for an orchestra to practice in, say a church hall or the local scouts hut perhaps) was not to his exacting standards. The broken baton was then discarded at some point post breakage to somehow later turn up outside your front gate due to a series of chance events that we will not go into here and now but might go into there and after now but probably wont.
But then again could this most intriguing stick, that has been the subject of much conjecture here at Found A Stick possibly be half of a magic wand, such as the one bespectacled teenage wizard Dennis Potter wields in such films as Dennis Potter And The Singing Detective and Dennis Potter And The Pennies From Heaven?
Well fanciful as both these ideas might be we do know that while both maybe wrong it is self evident both cannot be right. We hope that the results of our conjecture are of some help and succour to you Melissa. Thank you for sharing the most intriguing stick you have found that has been the subject of much conjecture here at Found A Stick.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Pamela Brandywine of Milton Keynes England has found a rather dramantic stick or maybe it is not a rather dramatic stick but photographed in a rather dramatic way, we cannot say. But then possibly it is a rather dramatic stick photographed in a rather dramatic way and then we have to consider if photographing a rather dramatic stick in a rather dramatic way might then make a rather dramatic stick appear even more rather dramatic than it already is when it is already a rather dramatic stick, again we cannot say. Whatever the finished result is a photograph of a found stick that is so rather dramatic that we fancy it could have been cast down from Olympus by the god Zeus after he had picked Ambrosia from his teeth with it. So Pamela where did you find a rather dramantic stick or maybe it is not a rather dramatic stick but photographed in a rather dramatic way, but then possibly it is a rather dramatic stick photographed in a rather dramatic way?
On the front step of what was once the ladies entrance to the Victorian public convienences on the high road which were shut down a good ten years ago now, next to the petshop which I had been frequenting in order to buy hay for my hamster Cyril only moments before my dramatic find.
Seems to us your mention of a "dramatic" find goes someway to clearing up our little mystery here and that we were undoubtedly mistaken to even consider that the stick you found was ever not a rather dramatic stick but only photographed in a rather dramatic way that made it look like a rather dramatic stick when it was not a rather dramatic stick. But it now seems that it was a rather dramatic stick anyway. But then this brings up once again the idea that since it is a rather dramatic stick photographed in a rather dramatic way, then we have to for a second time consider if photographing a rather dramatic stick in a rather dramatic way might then make a rather dramatic stick appear even more rather dramatic than it already is when it is already a rather dramatic stick.
And now a third option now occurs to us here at The Stick Foundry, home of Found A Stick. What if the photograph itself is not rather dramatic in the slightest but only appears so because the rather dramatic stick itself is even more rather dramatic than we first thought! That would make this a really rather dramatic stick find for which we thank you Pamela for sharing with us here at Found A Stick.
On occassions such as this we can often have the strong and sure belief that stick finding is nothing short of a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in cling film and stored away in the deepest spiritual and emotional levels of all our collective ids. But then on other occassions we think....nah that's a load of old tosh innit?
Colin Bunclark of Luton England has found a short but rather pleasing stick with a golden tint to it.
Tell us Colin if you will were did you find a short but rather pleasing stick with a golden tint to it.
Half way down the short footpath linking Elsden Road to Hoppington Crescent which serves as a short cut to the self service launderette next to the Spar minimarket on the high road.
Thank you Colin for sharing your fine photo of a short but rather pleasing stick with a golden tint to it and the brief guided tour around your local neighbourhood that now seems like a home away from home to us here at Found A Stick.
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Twin brothers Stan and Alf Mutton from Rotherham England have found a stick with an amusing tale attached about how they found a stick. Tell us Stan and Alf the amusing tale about how you both found a stick.
Stan: Alf, my twin brother and myself were walking home from work last Tuesday and as we were passing the Londis supermarket we both spied separately the stick. Since discovering the fine work you are doing here at Found A Stick Alf, my twin brother and I have both been keeping our eyes peeled for a stick to share with you. In fact it became a matter of small and friendly rivalry between us just who might find a stick first. As you can see the stick is a broad V shaped one. I only noticed the left hand folk and assuming it was just a straight forward stick I bent down to pick it up. At that same moment Alf, my twin brother noticed the right hand fork of the stick and he too assumed it was a straight forward stick and he too bent down to retrieve the stick, both of us calling out in victory towards the other at our find. Imagine then our hilarity when we found ourselves clutching either end of the same stick!
Alf: Stan, my twin brother and I were walking home from work last Tuesday and as we were passing the Londis supermarket we both separately spied the stick. Stan my twin bother, and myself have both been keeping our eyes peeled for a stick to share with you since discovering the fine work you are doing here at Found A Stick. In fact it became a matter of friendly and small rivalry between us just who might find a stick first. As you can see the stick is a broad V shaped one. I only noticed the right hand folk and I bent down to pick it up assuming it was just a straight forward stick. At that same moment Stan, my twin brother noticed the left hand fork of the stick and he too assumed it was a straight forward stick and he too bent down to retrieve the stick, both of us calling out in victory towards the other at our find. Imagine then our hilarity when we found ourselves clutching either end of the same stick!
Two interesting perspectives on finding a stick from Stan and Alf there and a side splitting anecdote both brothers will be dining out on for days if not weeks to come, I'm sure you'll agree.